Core Value 10: Check Things off a Bucket List

In each of my Core value posts, I started by writing that “Each of My Core Values has a subtitle that describes a litmus test by which I can determine success or failure in that area of life.” For this final one, it is the compilation of each season of life’s goals.

 

Core Value 9: Sleep often

Each of My Core Values has a subtitle that describes a litmus test by which I can determine success or failure in that area of life. For this one, it is:

wake up naturally.

This core value is the one that I waffle on the most. Some days I am certain that it is admirable to pursue, others I’m not as certain. But it still stands here, because more often than not, I think it is admirable. Sleep is a natural gift that gives back to its user. So many people underestimate the value and effect that sleep has on them; I don’t want to be among that number.

I notice that as I sleep more, I am more aware. I tend to be less grumpy, less unsocial, more productive due to being well rested. Sometimes, I fear that I “spoil” myself by giving too much gratification to my body when I sleep – that’s where the waffling comes in. Today though, I am convinced that sleep is a good and healthy part of a peaceful, satisfying life. As such it deserves the place it has in my Core Values list.

Core Value 8: Positive relationships with friends

Each of My Core Values has a subtitle that describes a litmus test by which I can determine success or failure in that area of life. For this one, it is:

Mutual love, service, edification, and growth.

I am totally convinced that the way to succeed in this core value is to be faithful to my relational schematic. Edification and growth will come as we spend time together encouraging one another and pursuing our mutual growth. Additionally, praying for my friends will keep my heart soft to them and love and service natural.

Core Value 7: Give my children a legacy

Each of My Core Values has a subtitle that describes a litmus test by which I can determine success or failure in that area of life. For this one, it is:

Spiritually, Financially – Leave an impact that is evident.

I don’t have children yet, but I am hoping and expecting that one day I will. It’s not especially significant to me that they would have my DNA or be a result of my sexual reproduction. It’s also not totally necessary that they would be formally adopted by me. Rather, I think my children will be identified by the fathering that I give and that they receive for a period of time greater than two years. It is within that context that this core value fits.

This core value is like the fifth in that it can only occur if the fifth does as well, but it goes beyond because it speaks to impact. Furthermore, Legacy is strictly defined as an “amount of money or property left to someone in a will” and loosely understood as anything handed down by a predecessor. So, this core value is about intentionally growing and then giving spiritual and financial gifts to my children. Spiritual gifts are harder to see, but I think they are the more important of the two. For now, since I do not have children, the way in which I can and should live out this core value is by garnering capital (especially spiritual capital) with the aim of giving a legacy in mind.

As children enter the picture, that capital will need to be structured in a way so that the legacy is give-able, impactful and useful. But for now, I pray like Jabez of 1 Chronicles 4 who “called upon the God of Israel, saying, ‘Oh that you would bless me and enlarge my border, and that your hand might be with me, and that you would keep me from harm so that it might not bring me pain!'”

Core Value 6: Serve my extended family practically

Each of My Core Values has a subtitle that describes a litmus test by which I can determine success or failure in that area of life. For this one, it is:

Be vocationally and skillfully equipped to do so, while cultivating a compassionate heart towards my family.

The first aspect of this core value is fairly self explanatory, despite it’s difficulty. I found a great resource for mapping skill sets on peak prosperity’s website as the writers were outlining resilience (in lieu of a world currency collapse they have predicted). I find this list more suitable to me than similar listings found on college websites, because the skills of survival in the world suggested by peak prosperity are more akin to the ones needed to serve family in need than the skills of the world of academia/big business in my opinion. Consequently, I plan to order the skills and then develop them one by one (and hopefully sustain/catalog them) so as to be equipped to serve.

The second is even more important though. Skills can be learned and researched in the moment to a significant degree, but the will to serve must pre-exist. So, I hope to continue attending family events, affirming family ties, and thinking warmly of the people that make up my extended family.

Core Value 5: Father Children

Each of My Core Values has a subtitle that describes a litmus test by which I can determine success or failure in that area of life. For this one, it is:

Spiritually and Financially.

I think I live in a society that wrongly venerates children. But, I think that society is right to recognize unique the value and significance of children.
Children need leadership (like some adults) and are usually unable to lead themselves (like some adults). Therefore, there is a call from each generation as it comes into the world to be treated with protective care and guided unto right living/thinking. That’s the role I want to fill for people that are younger than me.

The two arenas/capacities in which I especially want to provide this paternal care and guidance to some of the next generation’s people are the spiritual and financial aspects of life because of their significance. In order to achieve this goal, I must be literate in both fields as well as have an understanding of pedagogy as well as true compassion that allow me to father children effectively.

Core Value 4: Be sought for wisdom/earn the respect of people

Each of My Core Values has a subtitle that describes a litmus test by which I can determine success or failure in that area of life. For this one, it is:

Fear the Lord and study so that people trust my expertise and motivation; think, act, and reason in an orthodox way.

This Core Value is almost set in three stages. First, it is to get wisdom. Second, it is to earn respect. Third, it is to be available. Because it is in stages, it also is a longterm core value. While all of my core values are meant to take a lifetime to satisfy and are meant to be longterm enough so that there is always more available to do, while allowing for success at  various levels/degrees of ‘the path’… this one is different because I could succeed in one or two stages, but fail in the remaining and thereby fail overall. If I am available and have respect, but no true wisdom, I fail. If I have wisdom and respect, but do not make myself available, I fail. If I am available and have wisdom, but no respect, I fail.

Thankfully, “The Lord gives wisdom” (Proverbs 2) and he does so “generously to all [who ask] without reproach” (James 1). It seems that wisdom is truly available as long as I would desire it. So, I pray that I would desire it because it is “much better to get wisdom than gold.” (Proverbs 16)

Respect. “The words of a wise man’s mouth earn him favor.” (Ecclesiastes 10) Honor is in Wisdom’s left hand and “the wise will inherit honor” (Proverbs 3). “Humility come before honor” (Proverbs 18) and “he who is lowly in spirit will obtain honor” Proverbs 29). In fact, “whoever pursues righteousness and kindness will find love, righteousness, and honor” (Proverbs 21) and “the reward for humility and fear of the Lord is riches, honor, and life” (Proverbs 22). Conclusively, respect will come as I humbly accrue and exercise wisdom with humility within a particular setting.

Being available however must be a conscience choice and is a commitment reflected in how I chose to make a schedule. Additionally, it is an aspect of humility and honoring others.

Core Value 3: Serve Hayley

Each of My Core Values has a subtitle that describes a litmus test by which I can determine success or failure in that area of life. For this one, it is:

Have regular “free time” and “miscellaneous money” to spend on meeting the needs and wants of my wife.

This Core value and its subtitle are fairly self-explanatory. My choice to marry was/is hugely significant as it impacts my life. Hayley is the person I spend the most time with. She is the one to whom my well being is most intimately tied. She is the person that I have committed myself to. Therefore, it is right that after seeking God and being true to myself, I would seek to serve her. “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church… In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies.” (Eph 5) This comes with a warning… sometimes, “the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided”. Even Job 2 records an occasion in which Job rebuked his wife and did not honor her wish and “in all this Job did not sin.” That warning heeded – seeking “first the kingdom of God and His righteousness” (Matt 6) – it still remains that “husbands should love their wives” in a unique way so as to model God’s love for the church: unique, specific, transforming, forgiving, unapologetic, exclusive, full, intentional, etc.

Hayley’s primary language for giving and receiving love/affirmation is through quality time. Therefore, I should have regular ‘free time’ and ‘miscellaneous money’ in order to show her love and encourage her to love worthwhile things with (and apart from) me.