Category: Accountability

I’m sure that I did not coin this phrase, but I am unable to give credit where it is due. If you as a reader know where I ought to give credit, please let me know and I will include it here.

On the notecard that I am addressing in the post I have written an (what I believe to be my own) interpretation of that header. It reads:

• We have responsibility in:
  • every thought
  • every word
  • every deed
  • every attitude
  • every motive

My Response:
Presumably the we refers to all people, but especially believers in Christ.
Having responsibility is needed for the Christian – even the Calvinist. Thankfully, almost all philosophers in this day affirm compatibility as a valid expression of metaphysics. I affirm compatibility and the person’s responsibility. Further, I find the categories helpful for bringing to mind the extent of personal responsibility.

I keep above my desk at work a note which exhorts, daily, stand at the gate of your mind. I’m trying to remind myself that I am responsible for every thought. Likewise, I want to remember that I am responsible for every word and deed, which require a more permanent thought (or at least they should although some are in the habit of acting/speaking without thinking). Last, it is good to remember that the attitudes and motives of thoughts, words, and deeds also matter, because God is seeking to transform our very beings, our affections, and our nature into Christlikeness. He is not satisfied to have us doing and saying the right things – not even thinking the right things – we must do and say and think the right things with the right attitude and motive, because then it will be known that what we have become was not the result of human will (which is corrupted by sin), but rather the result of gracious, merciful divine intervention.

“How do you feel about how you spent your day?”

That is the question that “Post for…” posts are meant to answer. I need to bear that in mind, because it’s easy to recount the day or just write to get out ideas and slow my racing mind. But really, these posts are designed to be the qualitative portion to my personal accountability. (There is a quantitative portion.) They are separate and distinct from the other posts that show up on this blog (that is in general created in order to benefit me by having a web-log of various aims).

When I consider May 25, 2017, I feel really good about that day. The night before, I got back from a trip, went to church dinner, choir practice, praise band practice, and choir practice again before going home and blessedly unpacking with my wife (yes, I did get her a souvenir) and going to bed. Frankly, it was great to be home – and that was the theme of this day.

I slept in a little, came to church for staff prayer, mowed the grass, reset my office for the summer semester, addressed a full inbox, gardened with my wife, and prayed in the sanctuary. Truly, it felt like a perfect day and I was proud of how I spent it.

I won’t spend much time on this subject even though it is especially worthy – compared to my normal life, this tour was exceptionally exciting. The reason I will not say too much is because I am writing so much about it for my classes and it doesn’t really get at the goal of these “daily” posts: personal accountability. These days on tour were so structured that I would have had to try hard to not engage and be developed as a student. In that sense, many kudos to our instructors and administrators who facilitated the tour. Also, I’ve written a little bit about why I planned to go to New England and I don’t want to reiterate that.

So, this the end of my post for May 17-24. I’m proud of how I spent these days. studying alongside of and interacting with other seminarians was truly a joy.

I had so much hope in my ability to do Lent well this year and looking forward I even have so anticipatory glow considering Lent for next year! Yet, in practice, I was really bad at Lent. I set the parameters of my fasting for the sake of reflection and repentance and somber contemplation and then I proceeded to cross those parameters over and over again, doing the things I did not want to do and not doing the things I wanted to do.

That seems largely a reflection of my two-heartedness. I want to serve the Lord, but I still want to sin. The old man has not left me even though the new man has come. I live in the flesh even though I have since been born in the spirit. So, I guess my first take away is that I am glad that Jesus imputes righteousness to me. Without Him, I would be rebellious, alien, far off, worthless… but with Him, I am converted, familiar, brought near, valuable.

My second take away is like the first: righteousness comes by grace at all times; never do I outgrow my need for grace, as if to say that I was saved by grace but am now sanctified by force of will. If there is anything good in me, it is Christ and Christ alone.

I’m glad for this season of Easter up until Pentecost in which I can celebrate the victory of my Lord in my life and the life of the church at large and the life of the world most broadly.

I just published a post for April 3, 2017, in which I described a morning funeral on April 4, 2017 that I planed to attend. It is that morning funeral plan that has caused me to have extra time today to make several posts, something I’ve been wanting to do for several days. I ended the most recent one by commenting that April 3 was an almost perfect day.

As I typed that line, before hitting submit, my heart was moved, because I realize how fortunate I am to have any days that are almost perfect. The vast majority of people across history and even a very high number today have a low standard of living compared to me. While certainly some of the differential is resulting from things I have done, the vast majority isn’t; the vast majority of what has made my life so positive is the time, place, and family I was born into.

That’s a hard reality to wrestle with, but it is the reality. I cannot answer the inevitable why(s) that enter my mind as I consider that fortune. So the only response is gratitude, humility, and a commitment to serve to make the world a better place and help a larger percentage of children born be born into higher standards of living than their parents.

As we serve though, if we are Christians, we cannot simply meet humanitarian needs thinking to create a better temporal experience for humans. We must also preach the gospel and give opportunity for the lost to meet the Savior. It would be much better to live this life in opacity and pain but walk into eternity redeemed than to live this life in clarity and pleasure but walk into eternity rejecting the gospel of grace and reconciliation.

These days were fabulous. They were almost entirely spent getting to and attending the March 2017 Weekender conference hosted by 9Marks and CHBC-Ryan Townsend, Executive Director. The event was so very edifying and useful to me as a Christian and a hopefully future pastor. I loved the headfirst immersion into the 9Marks of a healthy church and seeing how they played out in this particular congregation which has been shaped by them for over twenty years. I’m not sure I agree with everything, but I’m sure I agree with some things and I’m sure the conversation is worth having if I continue to count myself a part of a local church.
Many thanks to my pastor for informing me about the conference and encouraging me to go, many thanks to my wife for encouraging my aim of vocational ministry and permitting me to go, many thanks to Justin for allowing me to stay with him while out-of-town, and many thanks to the church and 9Marks for putting on the conference which undoubtedly required lots of sacrifice and work.

Today, when I showed my wife the stack of notecards that I have she was visibly shocked that I let it grow so big, but this past semester whenever something has come to mind to do, I’ve jotted it down and pushed it aside so as not to be distracted during school. So, I hope to get to as much as possible before resuming the semester.

Here’s where things stood on Jan 18:

Here’s the remaining items (I’ll still update the original posts with Links as I address these) from notecards 12.10.2016:

1. Texts to research/respond to concerning a proposed call to bi-vocational ministry (and rejection of the full-time pastorate).
2. Attributes of a ‘man’ that is good to marry (I should spend time developing these)
3. Studying Successfully:
4. “Specialized” or “well rounded/a Jack-of-all-trades”
5. Pursuit of: health, wealth, love, and happiness
6. Concepts for church giving
7. Programs of the church:
8. Stop owning; start stewarding
9. Time well spent
10. Habits for Living

Here’s the remaining items (I’ll still update the original posts with Links as I address these) from “eager to-do”:

1. Clean the office floors [Although it will need redone and redone, I did it this day.]
2. Review relational schematic: here
3. Go through books I own and catalogue [I separated this into two separate tasks.]
4. Do some yoga: here
5. Organize Google and Safari Bookmarks
6. Digitize to memorize: here
7. Renew tags for my car [I did not notate doing this, but it happened in this season.]

Here’s the new items on my current notecards:

1. Put personal holidays on calendar
2. List visits and put some on calendar
3. Advice given by Warren Buffet to college seniors
4. Put school deadlines on calendar
5. Create budget/cash envelopes
6. Visit an accountant/tax lawyer/fiduciary

Since Jan 18, the only things that have changed to these lists are indicated by hyperlink. Hopefully over time, more will be addressed and more hyperlinks will appear. I imagine it will be of some difficulty to add those to each as they are completed, so that is first on my list of new items on my current notecards:

1. Five concepts for learning new skills
2. Eight traits of successful people
3. Lenten habits…for life?
4. Tactics for charisma
5. Probiotics // Prebiotic
6. Developing self-discipline
7. Patterns and core beliefs to improvement
8. Generic advice of Tim Ferris
9. Counsel for those attempting to be engaging
10. Know the arguments against your view better than your opponents do
11. The daily practice(s)
12. To Replace Clothing: a response to Project 333
13. Tactics for kind/empathetic persuasion

Also, there is a pesky list of computer stickies that have emerged, so I want to “explore catalogue and consolidate them also. Some of them will overlap with other sections so that they will be utilized in the completion of notecards. Here they are:

1. Religious practice relates to happiness
2. Modern form of sloth
3. The choice of thought
4. Types of journals
5. Revisit the ever-elusive “This season of Life’s goals”
6. Three tools for self reflection
7. Today Brad asked me: True at 50

SO… the good news: there’s really only 40 things here. That means, this is in reach if only I pursue it. The 41st? Citing and linking them all [a task that will get harder and harder the longer I leave it undone].

I’m not sure how long it qualifies as the beginning of Lent 2017, but I think it still does. Today marks day 7 of the 40 day season leading up to Easter. So far, I feel pretty pathetic. As a time of repentance, fasting, self-examination, and reflection, I haven’t done it super well. I’m thankful that there are more days to come when I can practice my faith in this season. I’m thankful because I’ve failed. I made 7 personal Lenten commitments and 2 married commitments and so far I’ve only kept 1 of the 9 commitments without failing.

That proves to me that I have much to repent of. I am not the faithful one. If there is hope of righteousness from my life, it is not on account of who I am, what I do, or what I am capable of. Some, I hope to “make up” thereby justifying \ shortcomings.

But for now, I’ll just pray on my own and ask any believing readers to pray for me:
May this season truly lead me to repent. May this season give me opportunity to examine myself more successfully. May this season lead me to fast. And may this season cause me to truly reflect as I prepare spiritually to celebrate the fullness of the resurrection of my Lord when the time is right. Amen.